Stand Firm: An Open Letter

To the person who recently hurt me:

I will not identify you by name or reveal the nature of our relationship because you do not deserve that attention. And you don’t know the depth of loyalty of my friends and family. I have an army that will come after you. But because I don’t want that kind of drama, and just want to move on from you, I will keep this quiet. Just be very clear on the fact that this is for my benefit, not yours.

Here are some other things you should be very clear on:

That voice in my head that you created, the one that says I should hurt myself to get back at you, can go fuck itself. It and you can go to hell, because I am a child of God. Nothing and no one is worth that.

You will not take my power.

I will not give you anymore real estate in my head, and I am evicting you from the space you once owned.

I will not let you take away from me the things that I used to associate with you, because they are too important to me. I will un-associate them with you. I will take them back, because they belong to me.

I will not allow you to break me like the promises you once gave.

I will not feel this way for long, because you don’t deserve that much of my time.

I will not allow you to tear yourself out at the place where you were attached and leave me bleeding, because I know how and have healed much bigger and worse wounds than that.

You just go on thinking that I was the one with the problem, when you were the one who couldn’t make up their mind about where this ended. When you were the one who kept this cycle of pain and victimization perpetuating and claimed not to know how much damage you were doing.

Go ahead and claim victimhood. Go ahead and make me the villain here, because we both know that you were the one hurting me.

Go ahead and say, “I’ll be cool whenever I see you, I won’t judge you or make it awkward,” as if you have any fucking stance from which to judge me.

Go ahead and say you “have nothing left to offer me.” Wonderful, because I have nothing to offer you either. In the end, I don’t know if the net effect of this relationship was healing or destruction.

Either way, it’s over.

Either way, I’m free from you.


It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Galatians 5:1

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